Parent views on "right age" for donor connection
Exploring the generational ordering of kinship through decisions about DNA testing and gamete donor conception: What's the right age to know your donor relatives? (Gilman, 2025)
Gilman, L., Nordqvist, P., Hudson, N., & Frith, L. (2025). Exploring the generational ordering of kinship through decisions about DNA testing and gamete donor conception: What's the right age to know your donor relatives? The Sociological Review, 00(0), 1-20. https://doi.org/10.1177/00380261241309488
Geographic Region: United Kingdom
Research Question: How do parents through donor conception navigate decisions about when their children should have access to information about and contact with donor relatives in the context of direct-to-consumer genetic testing?
Design: Qualitative study. with semi-structured interviews conducted one-on-one via video call or telephone. Data analyzed thematically using NVivo 12 software. Part of larger ConnecteDNA research study examining implications of direct-to-consumer genetic testing in donor conception.
Sample: 20 UK-based parents through donor conception. Predominantly white, highly educated, female (18 women, 2 men). Mix of family structures: solo parents (4), heterosexual couples (12), same-sex couples (4). Children's ages ranged from 0-40 years. Mix of donation types: sperm (11), egg (5), embryo/double donation (4). Mix of donor status: anonymous (11), identity-release (7), known (3).
Key Findings:
The study found that parents think about childhood in three main ways when making decisions about donor connections. First, parents see childhood as a special time when family bonds naturally form and develop. This makes some parents want to connect their children with donor relatives early, while others worry these connections might form too strongly if made during childhood.
Parents also view childhood, especially the teenage years, as a vulnerable time when children might struggle with identity issues or be emotionally hurt by connecting with donor relatives. Some parents try to protect their children by either waiting until adulthood or carefully managing early connections.
The research showed that parents strongly believe their donor-conceived children should have the right to make their own choices about donor connections. However, parents disagree about when children are ready to make these choices. Some think children need to be adults to decide, while others believe children can gradually take control of these decisions as they grow up.
Parents took very different approaches to DNA testing and donor contact. Some parents did DNA testing when their children were very young, while others preferred to wait until their children were adults. Many parents felt uncertain and anxious about making the right choice.
The study revealed that parents often worry about timing - connecting too early might force relationships on children before they're ready, but waiting too long might mean missing opportunities to form meaningful bonds. This creates a difficult balance for parents trying to protect their children while also supporting their right to know about their genetic connections.
Parents' decisions were often influenced by their own family situation, their child's personality and maturity, and their beliefs about what makes someone "family."
Limitations: Adult perspectives only - children's views not included.
Applications: Highlights the importance of considering timing and readiness for donor information and acknowledges variation in individual parent preferences and needs.
Funding Source: UK Research and Innovation Economic and Social Research Council (ref ES/V002430/1)
Lead Author: Leah Gilman is a researcher at the University of Sheffield specializing in family sociology and reproductive technologies.
Regulatory Context:
The Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA) is the UK's independent regulator overseeing fertility treatment and research using human embryos.
In 2005, the UK changed its laws regulating gamete donation from anonymous donation to identifiable donation.
As of October 2023, donor conceived people conceived on or after April 1, 2005 can access information about their donor's identity and request information about the identity of any donor siblings who have also expressed interest in contact at age 18.
Those conceived before the law change in 2005 do not have the same legal right to identifying information about their donors, who were guaranteed anonymity at the time of donation.
The UK has a voluntary register called the Donor Conceived Register (DCR) which allows donors and donor conceived people from before 2005 to voluntarily register and potentially match with each other.