Internet creates new ways for families to build extended donor family connections
From the families we choose to the families we find online: Media technology and queer family making (Andreassen, 2023)
Andreassen, R. (2023). From the families we choose to the families we find online: Media technology and queer family making. Feminist Theory, 24(1), 12-29. https://doi.org/10.1177/14647001211059517
Geographic Region: Scandinavia (primarily Denmark, Sweden, and Norway)
Research Question: How are contemporary queer reproduction and online media practices interwoven, and how does this integration affect family making and kinship in queer families?
Design: Long-term participant observation of online communities Scandinavian Facebook group connecting families with donor-conceived children (2013-2021). In-depth interviews with 13 women (mix of lesbian couples and solo mothers). Qualitative content analysis of online posts and interactions and interview transcripts.
Sample: Approximately 8 years of observation of forum interactions. 13 interviewed women, with two-thirds creating families as lesbian/queer couples. All participants had donor-conceived children or were trying to conceive using donor sperm. Diverse across social classes, ages, and geographical regions.
Key Findings
Lesbian couples and single mothers who have used sperm donors to have children often search online to find other families who used the same sperm donor, creating networks of families whose children are genetically related through the donor (donor siblings). This creates an interesting twist on traditional ideas of family: While these families are challenging conventional heterosexual and nuclear family structures, they're also forming new extended family networks based on biological connections. These "donor families" create a new kind of kinship that combines both non-traditional family structures with biological relationships. This development represents an important shift in how we think about family formation - it shows that biological connections can be used to create diverse, non-traditional family structures rather than only supporting conventional nuclear family models.
The research shows that not all families with donor-conceived children treat biological connections the same way. Some lesbian couples choose not to look for or connect with other families who used the same sperm donor (donor siblings). This choice can be understood in different ways. They might want to protect and emphasize their core family unit (just the two parents and their children. It might reflect concerns about society not fully accepting same-sex parents, especially the mother who didn't give birth to the child. By focusing on their nuclear family, they might be trying to strengthen their recognition as "real" parents.
The research noticed an interesting pattern: lesbian couples tend to emphasize their marriage and nuclear family structure, while single mothers are more likely to create extended families by connecting with donor siblings.
Limitations: Limited to families who actively participate in online groups. Does not include perspectives of those who choose not to connect with donor siblings.
Applications
For professionals working in the family-building industry, the findings highlight how deeply online media is now embedded in modern family formation.
Parents can learn how to use online media thoughtfully to create and maintain extended family networks.
We need to expand our understanding of what makes a family in modern times and ensure support systems and policies reflect the diverse ways families now form and connect.
Funding Source: Independent research fund Denmark (grant number 'Sapere Aude DFFForskningsleder', 4001-00229B)
Lead Author: Rikke Andreassen is a researcher, teacher and consultant in communication with a special focus on racial/ethnic and gender equality and has lived experience as a queer mother..
Regulatory Context:
Sweden
First country worldwide to ban anonymous sperm donation (1985)
Children have the right to access donor information when they reach maturity (18 years)
Lesbian couples gained access to fertility treatment in 2005, single women in 2016
Donors must be adults who consent to identity release
Denmark
Allows both anonymous and non-anonymous sperm donation
Known for its large sperm banking industry
Lesbian couples and single women gained access to fertility treatment in 2006
Norway
Banned anonymous sperm donation in 2005
Children can access donor information at age 18
Treatment available to lesbian couples since 2009
Single women gained access in 2020
Requires donors to register their identity