Parents' experiences highlight nuanced understanding of kinship in donor conception
'Doing' kinship: heterosexual parents' experiences of non-genetic parenthood through donor conception (Siermann, 2023)
Siermann, M., Visser, M., Schrijvers, A., Mochtar, M., & Gerrits, T. (2023). 'Doing' kinship: Heterosexual parents' experiences of non-genetic parenthood through donor conception. RBMO (Reproductive BioMedicine Online), 46(1), 210-218. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.rbmo.2022.09.006
Geographic Region: The Netherlands
Research Question: How do Dutch heterosexual parents who achieved parenthood through donor conception navigate non-genetic parenthood and kinship?
Design: Qualitative in-depth semi-structured interviews conducted between September 2018 and January 2019. Interviews lasted between 40 minutes and 3+ hours.
Sample: 13 heterosexual couples (26 parents total). All parents were white, predominantly Dutch. All men had infertility issues, and most used clinic sperm bank donors. Families had an average of 2 children, and the average age of children was 5.4 years.
Key Findings:
Parents found different ways to make sense of what makes someone family - sometimes genetics mattered, and sometimes it didn't. Most parents felt that not having a genetic connection didn't affect their ability to be a good parent or bond with their child. However, many parents still wanted their child to look like the father and chose donors with similar physical features. Parents felt strongly about using the same donor for all their children, wanting siblings to be fully genetically related to each other.
Some fathers struggled at first with not being genetically related to their children. These struggles were usually harder for men who hadn't fully processed their infertility before having children. Many fathers appreciated when people said their children looked like them. Some fathers worried about what would happen when their children could contact the donor as teenagers.
Mothers generally felt more comfortable with the idea of donor conception. Some mothers were curious about meeting the donor someday. A few mothers worried about potential inherited health issues from the donor. Mothers were often more understanding of their children's potential interest in the donor.
All parents either had told or planned to tell their children about being donor-conceived. 10 of the 13 couples started telling their children when they were around 3-4 years old or from birth. Parents felt being honest was important and that keeping it secret could be harmful. Most parents also told close family and friends, though they weren't always sure how to handle comments from strangers about who their child looked like.
Limitations: Possible self-selection bias toward parents more comfortable discussing donor conception. Study only captured experiences at one point in time with young children. Sample limited to heterosexual parents.
Applications: Fertility counselors must explicitly address concerns before treatment begins, focusing on helping men process infertility grief and anxiety about non-genetic parenthood, as these unresolved issues can impact later parenting experiences.
Funding Source: Not explicitly stated
Lead Author: Maria Siermann is a PhD candidate at KU Leuven, Belgium and University of Helsinki, Finland, focusing on ethical and sociocultural aspects of reproductive and genetic technologies.
Regulatory Context:
Artificial Fertilisation Donor Information Act (2004) abolished donor anonymity and defines how access to donor information is regulated.
A government-funded national register manages and makes donor information accessible.
There are age limits for accessing donor information. At birth, parents can request physical and social data from the donor in a "donor passport". At age 12, donor-conceived individuals can request the donor passport themselves. At 16, Donor-conceived individuals can request personally identifiable donor information (name, date of birth, residence).
Donors who donated before 2004 had the option to change their status to anonymous. For deceased donors who donated before 2004, next of kin are approached for consent to share information.
Post 2004, anonymous donation is prohibited and all donors must be identifiable.
Counselling is provided to both donor-conceived individuals and donors during the information exchange process.
In most cases, identifiable donor information is shared with the donor-conceived individual by a counsellor. Often involves a meeting between the donor-conceived person and donor. If requested, a third party (e.g., parent or partner) can join at the end of the meeting.